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| The very handsome and learned Figgy! Who we hope will help moderate the town hall! |
Hey boys and girls it's Melinda (Lindy) the pink bear back with some News You Can Use (TM). But before that me and Miss Moneypenny want to thank the readership (which is you) for making us the Number One blog in all the box. Woo hoo!! We're number 1!!!! Actually we have no idea whether or not this is true but just saying it means it is likely you will repeat it and think it so which will give us a leg up on the competitition. See here at FiveThirtyPlayt you not only get the big scoops but also a peak "behind the curtain" of the media and how the gears of the media biz turn. You are welcome!
Now on to the BREAKING news: FiveThirtyPlayt has exclusvily (sp?) learned that the Elections Committee has quit sitting around and set a date for the big election. It will be Friday the 13th. Of October. What could go wrong? Other than that is the day that is like a special holiday for axe murderers. So we have to ask the hard hitting question of whether this is an attempt at voter soppression or what. Because everyone will be too scared to leave the house! Who benefits, the winners and losers, we have it all here piping hottt.
Anyway since the election date is set it is our last chance to get in some red smoking hot Town Hall action! That is right! The official FiveThirtyEight Town Hall will be hosteted on Sunday the 8th by the one and only Figgy! I hope. We did not discuss this beforehand so Figgy don't be sore. You just seem generally amennable so I threw your name out and nobody said no. Figgy if you are reading this I hope you will do us the big favor of hosting. Pretty please with sugar on it. It is real easy to do. Just be your oh so handsome self and it will all fall into place I promise. Camera loves ya!!!!
Now on to the numbers that we are famous for. As you all heard Da Oysta came out with an attack ad which was pretty cheezey in my opinion esp. the marching band music. Corny BUT it seems to be having the intended effect of driveing down the positives of the White Girl. Using our special secret formula we now estimate Da Oysta has improved in the polls to a 23.3% chance of winning. This is Da Oysta's best number in a long time. Will the White Girl just sit there and take it or will she HIT BACK with an attack ad of her own? Boy we hope so because controversy means those sweet sweet clicks!! Keep them coming!
Okay remember -- big Town Hall with the White Girl and Da Oysta and of course Figgy if you are willing on Sunday the 8th! Everybody show up otherwise somebody will have to debate a chair and we all know that that is L A M E.
Oysta comeback! That's what's cookin'!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletei am an empty chair and i wish someone would debate me
ReplyDeletei have good ideas
Oysta's gonna do it! The Commish has the Big Mo!
ReplyDeleteOysta's on the rise! Just call Da Oysta the Comeback Kid!!!
ReplyDeleteFIRST
ReplyDeleteYou know, 23% isn't all that good. Also I think it waaaay overstates Da Oysta's chances. Once that attack ad sinks in and people think about it they will realize it's D-U-M dum. "What do we really know about this White Girl?", she's been in the box longer than most of us. Also even if there's a spike in the polls now Da Oysta will still show up drunk at the Town Hall or say that the Holocaust was good or something like that.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many ways for Da Oysta to blow it. **Grabs popcorn**
Melinda,
ReplyDeleteOnce again you have misspelled exclusively. Also, you seem to have a problem with repeating syllables in the middle of a word. "Competitition," for instance. That is incorrect. You need spell check.
You are misspelling many of the same words you've misspelled before. You aren't learning from your mistakes.
Apparently you are comfortable with them.
Sincerely,
Walker Owl
I have a question for the Town Hall event:
ReplyDeleteWhat can change the nature of a man?
wow walker is getting snippy
ReplyDeleteI hope it is right that Da Oysta is winning because that is the best way to get the Star Wars missile defense system we so desperately need. The Star Wars missile defense system will serve as a deterrent to deter the cat and others like that big turtle behind the scenes. In conclusion we need a Star Wars missile defense system with intercontinental missiles so we can all feel safe at last.
ReplyDeletehello,
ReplyDeletei am the large purple ball that was the subject of the ballitzer prize winning series "ball in exile." as you might know i was briefly reinstated which was the happiest day of my life. but then i went crazy and attacked baby bird. god help me i do not know why i do these things. now i am back in exile with nothing to keep me company but my regrets.
lord hear my prayer.
OUTPUT COMMENT: Remember what Lisa said in the prior thread. There is no reason to believe that Melinda's methodology is sound. She may be fabricating numbers. Reports of the Commissioner's surge in the polls may have been manufactured by the authors in an effort to drive traffic to this site. This would be logical, although highly unethical.
ReplyDeleteLisa is a champion and has demonstrated her profound intellect on many occasions. Her analysis should be valued and her advice heeded.
END TRANSMISSION
hey cloten, looks like the robot has the hots for your girl.
ReplyDeleteyou're gonna get replaced like those factory workers in west virginia if you don't step up your night game.
wats this bisnis abot a town hal. i ain nevr agree ta no town hal. dat souns stupit. wite gerl go on an debait a chare if you gota. i ain showen up. i got beter things ta do den blab.
ReplyDeletedis hole elekshun is dragin on way too long. go on an voat an get it da hel ovr wit. if you don apreshiate a reel comish den you al get da comish you desirv.
Cloten the Cuck gets beat on the playing field by Lisa and then is forced to watch her with robots!
ReplyDeleteCloten the Cuck is dominated by his woman!
Cloten the Cuck will always finish behind his wife!
Boo hoo Cloten the Cuck sucks!
OUTPUT COMMENT: By dint of her startling intelligence and dazzling on-field play, Lisa is quite attractive.
ReplyDeleteIt is logical.
END TRANSMISSION
cuck is a term that you may encounter on the internet and wonder what it means and why everyone is talking about it all day. it is a term popularized by the alt-right, which is a large green frog in a red cap. this frog when cornered will suggest that the cornerer is a cuck which means that the cornerer enjoys watching his wife enjoy the sexual attentions of another man in her bottom regions. this is meant as an insult but is not really one because who would deny his wife the attentions that make her happy in the bottom regions or other regions of her choosing. only a bad husband would not want to see his wife happy in the bottom regions or any other regions. the large green frog in a red cap is a bad husband but he is at less risk of venereal disease. there are tradeoffs.
ReplyDeleteI'm not even going to watch this Town Hall if Da Oysta isn't going to participate. The whole fun of watching these things is to see what dumb statements and screw ups Da Oysta is going to do. That's IT. Otherwise it is bor-ring. The White Girl is borrr-ring. She's a snooze on her own without Da Oysta there to liven things up.
ReplyDeleteI'll just watch the final season of Scandal instead.
First of all I am not a cuck! Lisa and I have an exclusive monogamous relationship! We do not date outside our marriage. Also we have a relationship of mutual respect in which we both support each other and root for each other to do well. When Lisa wins I am happy and when the Dream Team wins she is happy.
ReplyDeleteOur relationship is an equal partnership! If Lisa wins the tournament I will be disappointed for my team but happy for her and we will celebrate with pizza. As for those other obscene things you say about the woman I love I wish you would come out from behind your anonymity so I could tell you right to your face what I think of you. It isn't good!
Technically I don't think a robot can be a cuck. The robot just does whatever you program it to do. Somebody must have programmed it to steal Cloten's girlfriend.
ReplyDeletethis whole conversation is sexist
ReplyDeletei am offended
what about game of thrones? that's on sunday night too. c'mon you've got to like that better than scandal. don't you want to know who will rule westeros? even hunter pence is a fan.
ReplyDeleteBLEAH Game Of Thrones Sux! Who wants to watch a bunch of dragons -- that's stupid. Whenever you see blood and gore or weapons in a show? That means that the writers couldn't think up of a plot. So they chop off somebody's head. It gets OLD fast.
ReplyDeleteScandal has problems but it is multi-threaded and Kerry Washington is hot.
too bad l.p.s. this is what the internet is in 2017: cat videos and people arguing over who is a cuck. and finding ways to put the word cuck in people's names. like you could be little pink cuck.
ReplyDeletedon't fight it. just go with it.
wah i don't want cloten and lisa to break up
ReplyDeletethey are my shining example that true love can be found
And that is exactly why we cannot afford to have you One Heart Beat Away Cat Head. You cannot handle Reality. Right now Lisa is replacing her man who cannot satisfy her with a robot and that is the Way of the World. Deal with it or get out of politics. You are too soft headed Cat Head. You belong in a Home for Alzheimer's patients not One Heart Beat Away.
ReplyDeletewe know you're gay. you say so in every message thread.
ReplyDeleteget another topic.
At the risk of perturbing my good friend Lisa, I wanted to clear a few things up. Often we do "girl talk" and without getting into the gorey details, let's just say that Lisa has no complaints *at all* about Cloten's "night game". On the contrary!
ReplyDeleteAnd some people on here casting aspersions about the "night game" of others really ought to look in the mirror!
???!!!?!??!?!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHa ahaha ahaha! Cuckstermind Moth!!!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'll be the moderator! That sounds like fun! Thanks for asking.
ReplyDeleteBut I want to also say that though I am flattered that you think I am handsome I cannot reciprocate your affections. On Fellow's recommendation, I have fallen in love with Baby Bird. Also I have done a lot of research on the subject and have discovered that falling in love with Baby Bird is a very good thing to do. I hope you are not too disappointed.
Figgy
Supreme Court Justice
That's cool Figgy, relax! You do you. Love who ya love!
ReplyDeleteSee you at the Town Hall but don't let it go to your head!!!
I know it's none of my business really, but I gotta say it -- I still can't believe you guys are arguing about a Town Hall and people's relationships when we are about to hit the finals of what has been such a great Tournament. I don't know about you but I am at the edge of my seat.
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you: there was that one glorious morning when me and Virginia Bluebell were perched in first place and looking down the standings at the rest of the field and guys I idolized like Shell Turtle and the Space Alien and I had to pinch myself. Since then we've lost a few games and now we're off the pace but that was the BEST feeling in the world. We're going to work as hard as we can to get back there. And watch out for us in the Finals! We've got the fire and desire!
But let's talk Play In Game. One Concordia match -- win or go home. Peen Team has gotten better at tactical flexibility as the tournament has gone on so that's an advantage BUT they didn't do so good at Concordia in rounds 2 and 5. Arcadia won both of their Concordia games and they go into the Play In with the most wins (6) so they have to be the favorite. But you can never count out Frog & World who have one Concordia win and who are extra good with their backs to the wall! Holy cow this is going to be exciting. Add in that Concordia is a great game plus the Peen Team likely doing it for Tom Petty and the wild card (Yellow Bird) and WHOA!
Wow, it's such an honor to be here and play against all of you and be a part of this. Win or lose, you all have my admiration forever. I can't wait until this election is done and we can all get back to what we do best.
Gene "Geno" Bunny
I think we should just make Fellow the commissioner and leave it at that.
ReplyDeleteGeno, you're so cool.
ReplyDeleteRight back at you, Chloe. FWIW I thought you were treated really badly by your players. I've studied your game and you're a really good manager with unconventional ideas. Any team would be lucky to have you. I know we're going to be competing hard against you for a long time to come, and you're gonna give us all we can handle! We're the new generation of Playt and we're here to shake things up!
ReplyDeleteget a room, lovebirds!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I make no attempt to disguise my distaste for the current Commissioner's style of governance, I am affiliated with no campaign. Because of Melinda's unwillingness to share her methodology, I felt compelled to shadow the analysis on this blog. What I've discovered: while FiveThirtyPlayt is roughly correct about the current percentage of support for the Oyster, the bloggers overstate the *depth* of that support. Many of the Oyster's current supporters are only sticking with the incumbent because the challenger has failed to make a persuasive case for herself or clearly outline what life under a White Girl administration would be like. Furthermore, I've found that the White Girl's own support is softer than it seems in the polls. Much of it is simply a vote for change, and disgust at some of the Oyster's excesses -- anti-Oyster sentiment -- than it is earnest and full-throated support for the candidate.
ReplyDeleteWhat this means: if a third option were to step into the ring, perhaps someone with a clear record of achievement and service to the community, that candidate stands a strong chance of sweeping to a landslide victory. Certainly that candidate would be competitive, and would invigorate -- and elevate -- the race by his mere presence and the gravity and intelligence he has already demonstrated.
I am happy to share my polling algorithms and methodology with all interested parties.
run fellow run!!!
ReplyDeleteЧерт, если выдра побежит, это испортит все наши планы. Выдра слишком организована и справедлива и будет способствовать стабильности в ящике. Мы должны подрывать его кандидатуру любой ценой.
ReplyDeleteshadup stupit owl ain nobody wan ta see your hom werk.
ReplyDeletean ain nobody wan felo for comish. evrbody knos felo is a frut. and also an eg hed.
senserley,
enonimos
whoah that's the worst anonymous troll job i've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteda oysta ought to be disqualified for lameness alone.
First I would like to thank Melinda and Miss Moneypenny for creating this resource for the community. Thank You!
ReplyDeleteAlso I would like to say that while I was planning to vote for the White Girl, I would happily switch my allegiance to Fellow. This great tournament that is now concluding shows us all that Fellow has the temperament and the foresight to lead. Also Fellow is interested in jurisprudence. Fellow is the right Otter at the right time.
C'mon everybody! Don't bail out on me now!
ReplyDeleteGood afternoon. Is this thing on? Oh! It is!
ReplyDeleteMy friends,
I am not now nor will I ever be a candidate for the position of Playt Commissioner. I am not interested in executive authority.
I will continue to be an advisor and facilitator to the community.
Enjoy the play-in game!