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| The political mastermind! And also very handsome! |
So without further adieu we bring you exclusevily (sp.?) the final count! In ascending order:
George Washington (one vote)
Cloten (one vote)
Henri (one vote obvs by Henri)
Jill Stine (sp.?, one vote)
Jack LaLanne (one vote)
Betty Crocker (one vote)
Lisa (one vote don't let it go to your head)
Alexander Haig (one vote)
LBJ (one vote)
The Mysterious Unknown (one vote)
A Root Beer Float (one vote)
Hitler (two votes, srsly?, wtf)
SCOUNDREL (two votes, congrats Peanut you tied Hitler)
Gorp (eight votes)
Fellow the Otter (twenty-nine votes)
The White Girl (sixty-seven votes)
and
Da Oysta (one zillion fifty-two votes)
Since there is no button for a zillion on our calculator we cannot tell you what percentage it is but believe me (Lindy) it is BIG. This came as a great surprise to us as our super duper proprietary system that I guess is not that hot yet only had Da Oysta with a 7.2% chance of winning after that stinker of a Town Hall. And zero percent chance of a land slide! Which is what a zillion vote lead is. Also the Exit Polls all had the White Girl winning. All me and Miss Moneypenny can think of is that there is a "silent majority" out there for Da Oysta who are hard to poll or maybe they don't want to admit they are voting for Da Oysta on account of all the stupidity. Must be!
Anyway congrats to Da Oysta on a big re-election! and maybe don't ban us for our occasional sideways remark? This is life on the Internet. The numbers are the meat and potatoes but it is the wittitticisms that keep the visitors coming back. As a shellfish of the world we know you get it. Anyway I have a gown picked out for the inauguration ball woo hoo. It is something that will wow ya so don't hate! See you all there! And sorry about that algo rhythm we are checking to see if it is plugged in. Sometimes you just gotta do a hard reboop huh SCOUNDREL?
FIRST
ReplyDeleteНаш план был выполнен до совершенства. Теперь кандидат на хаос отвечает, и он будет нейтрализован выводом. Также никто не читает русских, кроме, может быть, черной счастливой кошки. Она умная, но циничная и аполитичная, поэтому никакой реальной угрозы. Тем не менее мы будем иметь дело с ней.
ReplyDeleteWoo hoo the kid did it! Oysta for the win! White girl goes down hard!! Looks like a White Girl *can't* do anything! Haaaaahahahahahah
ReplyDeleteNone can withstand the furious force of an Oyster whose time has come!
ReplyDeleteMaaaaaan that election was phonier than that zillion dollar bill that SCOUNDREL tried to slip Dirty Dannyt.
ReplyDeleteAre we just going to sit here and take it? Or is someone going to do something about it?
yeah it sure was fishy. but what can any of us really do?
ReplyDeleteme, i feel that the big powers are all entrenched behind the scenes, and i have very limited options for actions and movement. for instance i can only move two squares on my first move. and then i can only go vertically and take diagonally.
but perhaps that is because i am a pawn. literally.
Extra extra!!! Allegations of election impropriety rip through the Playt box! Was the contest on the level? Can Melinda (Lindy) and Miss Moneypenny really be trusted, or are they part of a disinformation campaign? Are we on the brink of a full-blown legitimacy crisis? All this and more as THE CHINA REPORT swings back into action! Sorry for losing a step -- I was spooked by the new blog -- but I got my swagger back now so watch out!
ReplyDeletei hear jill stine is asking for a recount.
ReplyDeleteYeah yeah I heard it all before. Once the election is over all the whiners come out of the wood work. Everyone knows Jill Stine is a loser. She can count and recount until she is blue in the face. Numbers don't lie. There it is in black and white. The Oyster got a zillion votes and that's all there is to it. Case. Closed.
ReplyDeletea little too little a little too late china.
ReplyDeleteI know!!!! Sorry sorry. I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteLook, just, don't trust this blog, ok? More soon.
you know what are good? Jacob's cream crackers.
ReplyDeleteMiss Money Penny you wouldn't happen to be sitting on a big pile of ROUBLES a.t.m. now would you. --
ReplyDelete"Asking for a friend" as the Lucky Cat likes to say --
Lindy enjoy JALE
I too will attend the inaugural ball.
ReplyDeleteI have picked out a tasteful ensemble that accentuates my plumage.
I am sure to look very beautiful.
All you cannot deal with the truth which is that your candidate choked. She was high on too many false drugs to seal the deal with the community. Also Cat Head do not think you are off the hook for your Alzheimer's now that you lost. It is still against the law for a mush brain to run for office. What if you won. You endangered all of us!!!
ReplyDeleteFriends,
ReplyDeleteI don't know what China's investigations have unearthed, but I share his suspicions that something about this election was off. I have run the numbers through my own models many times, and I fail to understand how the Elections Committee arrived at the official tallies. None correspond with any known voter recognition algorithm. At the very least, it is highly unlikely that the Oyster, or any other candidate, could have won a tightly contested election like ours with anything like the plurality that has been officially reported.
When we modeled the electorate on election eve, we found, as Melinda (Lindy) did, that the White Girl had a 91-94% chance of winning outright and no chance of losing to the Oyster by a massive plurality. The write-in campaign for Fellow was an unpredictable mathematical complication, but could not have skewed the numbers so severely. The official result is not within the margin of error. This *must* be investigated further.
Concerned,
The Sabermetric Owl
I'm sorry!!!!
ReplyDeleteS.O. maybe you're bad at math. Have you considered that?
ReplyDeleteLet's face it -- you and that Spring Chicken have had it in for Da Oysta since forever. You are a Control Freek and can't handle that your precious formula doesn't account for everyone and everything.
(And the Chicken is an *actual* cuckold! And I don't have to join the alt-right to prove that one -- just look at the baby for Pete's sake.)
Use some common sense you two whiners and you will see that the Numbers Don't Lie. Ever since Lisa ditched you you haven't been able to win the big one and now you're just bitter.
1. 45 started all the ruckus with a tweet as usual. Corker just eloquently replied.
ReplyDelete2. "How dare Corker say such things when we have kids in the field?" It's about time somebody spoke the truth about what's sitting in the oval office.
3. "Unseat GOPs that oppose 45's agenda?" There is no agenda. Undo whatever BO did and if enough people complain change course? Thats an agenda? Golf and create chaos sounds what he's after. I'm not sure what Bannons position is but I'm guessing its not good.
hey, i think you got the wrong blog.
ReplyDeletei mean, tonally it's right, but the subject matter is off.
Color me unconvinced. First of all there aren't a zillion voters in the box. There are maybe 200 of us? So how could a zillion voters have voted? Furthermore a zillion isn't even a real number. It's just something that people say when they mean "a lot". That's really imprecise, and when you're imprecise on Election Day it leaves PLENTY of room for fraud.
ReplyDeleteI dunno, I think we have to re-vote.
shadup tomsin you bum. you don no nothin about no elecshun. you ain on no elecshun comitty. dey counded up vots an i won fare an skware. bums lik you jus triein ta take away my mandait. i beat da wite gerl in a lansleid. da reel peipel wan ME ta be comish. go bak to corektin spelen erors an leav me alon.
ReplyDeleteThompson, that can't be right -- it's too logical. Everybody knows nothing around here makes linear sense.
ReplyDeletei am so depressed that white girl lost
ReplyDeletei can barely get out of bed
she was my hope for a better future
But are you gay? That's what we really want to know.
ReplyDeleteyes i am gay
ReplyDeletei wish more of you would come out especially those of you who are prominent and role models i want to see you be brave
you FOOLS wake up and understand what is TRULY happening. your CLUE was that fellow aka the deep state nearly stole the election. now that fellow's attempt at a COO failed they will try by other means. they will attempt to invalidate the election results and sow uncertainty so that everyone turns to fellow in a MANUFACTURED CRISIS and puts fellow aka the deep state in charge. your vote means nothing and your voice is silenced because you went for a FALSE FLAG instead of taking the red pill and getting woke like baby bird. wise up sheeple and understand how it is all being orchestrated. there was WAY more than one vote for jill stine and the recount ought to show that but more likely the truth will be covered up by the powers that be. they are EVIL
ReplyDelete***I like sex with everybody!***
ReplyDeletewell that was the most predictable coming out since ricky martin.
ReplyDeleteYou've got me wrong. I don't care about spelling. You're thinking of my brother Walker.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't mind me saying so, that's *exactly* why you lost my vote. Oysta, to you I'm just another Owl. We're all the same in your eyes. You never bothered to get to know us as Individuals. The White Girl has her flaws but at least she cares. She didn't put herself above us.
You know what?, I think she won. Sooner or later I bet we're going to find that out.
Broken Monkey, Fellow didn't even want to run. I was the one who pushed the Draft Fellow campaign. Also I have to ask: if Fellow represents the Deep State already, why would Fellow want to be the Commissioner?
ReplyDeletethank you for your courage sex princess
ReplyDeletewho else maybe space alien you are very debonair and cultured is my gaydar on the fritz
Judge Mental: again, too much sense.
ReplyDeletejudge mental don't you know that the corrupt legal system you participate in is BOUGHT AND SOLD by the powerful interests. the so called supreme court was put together by fellow aka the deep state as woke baby bird said. this is the FALSE GOD you worship. wake up and let the SCALES fall from your eyes. fellow is in league with the shadowy turtle behind the scenes who was last photographed dancing in dew circles with fellow aka the deep state. until you realize it is all connected you are a SLAVE and are not worthy of your ROBE
ReplyDeleteHa ha, no, I'm not gay. I've just always been too caught up in game activities to have a relationship. Probably short-sighted of me, but you know how absorbing it can be when the tournaments get rolling. I don't know how Cloten and Lisa do it.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I don't mean to be closed-minded, but I've always sorta had Jughead Jones as my role model.
BLEAGH Archie comix sucks!! It's always the same thing over and over again. Archie is in a love triangle with the women, Reggie is rich, LAME. The plot hasn't advanced in ever. Why are they still in high school? And what about Moose and Midge that is all so s-t-u-p-i-d it is so cliched of opposites attract.
ReplyDeleteAlso it never tackles complex themes like Smallville did.
wait, I though Jughead was gay.
ReplyDeletethompson you are so right! you don't need a sophisticated algorithm to know that this election did not pass the "smell test" and nothing will change unless we take action!
ReplyDeleteit is time to speak truth to power and use the platform we have for good, not bad! me and mastermind moth made the final four and the eyes of the playt world will be on us. well, when da oysta sings the anthem before the game, i intend to take a knee in protest!
and i will continue to take a knee until there is a real investigation!
like hell you are! you're going to stay out of politics and concentrate on the game!
ReplyDeletesome things are bigger than the game. only you wouldn't know that mr. no class. you embarrassed me in front of everybody in that last match. directing all your attacks against our main competitor instead of spreading them around and playing fair! and then the insect trust had the same opportunity in the very next game and *they* took the high road. for shame!
ReplyDeleteannnnnnnnd the insect trust lost!!!
ReplyDeletewhat have we learned here today???
Mastermind Moth, squabbling with the old Ball & Chain again.
ReplyDeleteBall and Chain don't be stupid. You can't take a knee, you're a butterfly. You don't even have a knee.
ReplyDeleteLittle Pink Star I am mostly attracted to the Opposite Sex. But I would be open to a Love relationship with the Same Sex.
ReplyDeleteShelly, what sex are you anyway?
ReplyDeleteWhatever went down out there trust that Baby Bird is IN ON IT -
ReplyDeleteIt was baby bird who *berated!!!* voters who voted for the White Girl. Straight throught the voting which is Campaigning on Election day -- And said that she wasn't gonna help anybody who didn't vote for Oysta. --
Then she was the one who **looked in the ballot box** and **found** the extra one zillion votes. THEN the ballot "mysteriously disappeared"
Plus Baby Bird looks suspicious today. Ask her about Oysta and see her QUAKE
BIRD enjoy JALE
Not for the first time, SCOUNDREL was right, and I was wrong.
ReplyDeleteI argued that it didn't matter who won the election because Peanut would continue to make the important decisions and Fellow would handle practical operations. U replied that circumstances in the box may have changed sufficiently enough that the Office of the Commissioner would have more leverage that it had in prior terms.
Ultimately I voted for the White Girl, and I did so because I did not like the angry authoritarian drift of the Oyster's campaign rhetoric. Now, we all like the Oyster very much, and we've grown accustomed to seeing the Oyster in a position of nominal authority. But the Oyster's vendetta against Fellow is threatening to undermine the quality of our future tournaments. What's more, Fellow doesn't deserve to be ostracized or marginalized by the Commissioner -- no matter who he or she is. Fellow has worked selflessly to make the tournaments as good as they can be, and ought to get nothing but our appreciation and thanks.
If the Oyster truly had an electoral mandate and wanted to use that popular support to drive a wedge between Fellow and the rest of the community, that would be regrettable, but, I suppose, within the Commissioner's rights. It would prompt a counter-reaction and protest, but it probably wouldn't trigger a legitimacy crisis. But we have reason to suspect that the Oyster's victory is tainted, and because of that, it's not incumbent on any of us to humor the Commissioner's persecution of a lovable otter who has never done anything but help us all out.
After consultation with my team, I have decided that I will join my friend Ball and Chain in her protest during the anthem. I'll be taking a knee, as will the Little Pink Star and Kissy Face -- and we will continue to kneel until the election is investigated to our satisfaction and Fellow is recognized by the Office of the Commissioner as an asset to our community.
Haw haw, Lisa doesn't have a knee either.
ReplyDeleteIt's a *metaphor*, numbskull.
ReplyDeleteLiteralism is the scourge of this community.
Melinda,
ReplyDeleteI will not be baited.
Exclusively,
Walker Owl