Heavy is the head which has the crown! Whatever that means.
Hey everybody guess who it is! You already knew, it is me, Melinda (Lindy) the pink bear who is your friend by now hopefully. You might have even seen me and Miss Moneypenny out on the field playing Calidonea (sp.?) or whatever! Not ashamed to say we didn’t do too hot. Ouch we got cut. Fellow said better luck next time which was nice I think? You tell me.
Lucky for us and you there is more than one way to have fun. YES you guessed it, it is time for the long awaited Miss Box Pagent. Hosted by the one and only Figgy!!!, who is very talented and handsome. Maybe I mean. TBH we did not yet “lock in” Figgy as the host yet and this is prob. the first time Figgy is hearing of it. But if we create a ground swell it might happen.
Anyway Figgy or no Figgy the pagent will take place on October 13 which will give Baby Bird time to recover and practice up in her talent area which is either spinning song or something to do with a silibus or maybe a baking thing. A guess based on past activities. The rest of you have until Friday to get your application into Francine and her friend Judge Mental who will be the judge (this one is confirmed – yay.) Here is who we have already plus talent area:
Gentle Flower (talent area is a poem)
Chloe (indie rock guitar)
Baby Bird (?)
Cat Head (a recitation)
Pretty Princess (personal beuaty tutorial)
Luminous Cow (cheese making, ew)
Parker the Kangaroo (coming from Down Under)
Kiwi Bird (sitting up, really?, come on Kiwi Bird that is not a talent)
Becky the Pop Shoggoth (pop culture minutia)
Female Assassin (assassination, not a lot of imagination there imo)
Filthy Marla (calisthenics)
Mariposa (Spanish lullabye)
Esme the Elephant (can’t think of anything but wants to be in the pagent – is this ok???0
Glo Giraffe (glowing in the dark, duh)
WOW such an array of beauty and talent imho!!! Also if Judge Mental passes you on to the next round you gotta come up with something you would do that is positive in the community like global warming or helping retards. That is the positivity part and it is important. This is not just a pagent on your looks although it does help not to be an uggo. Something for Filthy Marla to keep in mind.
A few others of you lovely (sp.?) people dropped hints like you might wanna be involved but maybe you are above pagents or you are bashful about a swim suit? YOLO is what I have to say. Come on in the water is warm. Like maybe we will hear from:
Yellow Bird (talent area ????)
Sex Princess (something sexual I bet but keep it PG-13)
Beulah (bombs and missile defense)
Shelly (If you are a girl. If you are a boy check with Francine.)
And Olive you can be in it even if you are on the Surpeme Court! Look at how Ruth Blader Ginsburg is like a rock star now – that could be you!!!
So there you have it. The Miss Box Pagent is ON! Brought to you solely by me Melinda (Lindy) and Miss Moneypenny and most importantly FiveThirtyPlayt. Who will wear the crown and who will go home empty handed. Keep it here for all the news plus gossip plus scandils (sp.?) J/k there will probably not be any scandils but just in case you better click click click! haha!
FIRST
ReplyDeleteWoo! Yesssss! Pageant!!!
ReplyDeleteI think the Redbird Twins should be in the pageant. They’re pretty and sexy. Plus, twins is a well-known fantasy which’ll give them a leg up.
ReplyDeleteOh, and on that subject. I heard that the Kokeshi Dolls want to do it, but they need someone to look after the cow.
ReplyDeleteGoing FIRST is so 2012. Bully Moth, you are pathetically out of style.
ReplyDeletepork chop is a horn dog
ReplyDeleteThis is so dumb. Why would we have a beauty pageant in the middle of the tournament? Right when the games are getting good? We’re going to stop what we’re doing and parade around? We should do this for some time when big and consequential games aren’t being played. Or maybe NEVER.
ReplyDeleteIs it true???
ReplyDeleteSomeone advise
Not a horndog, pal. I'm an appreciator of female beauty.
ReplyDeleteTo that end, I will be disappointed if the Sex Princess isn’t in the pageant. She’s as pretty as anybody around here. Also, I think we’d all like to see her talent.
Hey, can I be in the pageant?
ReplyDeleteeww, no
ReplyDeleteScribbleface, you know what’s going on. It’s all bread and circuses. They’re trying to create a distraction because they know that this illegitimate regime is in big fat trouble. They don’t want you reading the Special Council’s report. They don’t want you thinking about how Da Oysta got a zillion votes when there probably aren’t even a zillion of us in the box. So they distract you with sex appeal and scandals. The oldest trick in the book.
ReplyDeleteLook at the way Lindy writes this blog. It is all breezy and frothy and sensationalistic. She is trying to get you to think on a superficial level and not delve deeper into the news. She even intentionally spells things wrong when she could use a spell check so that people will obsess over her spelling mistakes and not about the real scandal. It is all threadbare. You can see the panic. They know that sooner or later the truth will come out and we will realize that Da Oysta lost the election.
I think Ball and Chain should be in the pageant to prove that you still have worth even if you are old and beat up.
ReplyDelete@ CCP: No boys allowed.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Finger Puppet! I considered it but I wanted to keep my mind on the game.
ReplyDeleteBeauty pageant PROGNOSIS: over before it has begun. RESULTS: already outputted. Results (specified): Lisa has crushed the field.
ReplyDeleteANALYSIS: None can compete with her perfectly symmetrical facial beauty and long record of academic and professional accomplishment. CONCLUSION: Lisa should dump the zero (Cloten) and get with the hero (Achievement 19).
maybe melinda is just a bad spelur?
ReplyDeleteThere you go again, Thompson, with the same old junk about the election, which is now a million years ago. Give it up. Your dope addict candidate lost – what a surprise. The Special Council report was a bust. I think I just saw the Crime Dog reading The Goldfinch in the retirement village with Space Alien.
ReplyDeleteLindy writes fast which is the way we like it. She doesn’t have time to run computer programs on her posts and neither do we. Maybe you want everything to be like Tess of the Doobervilles but guess what, it is not 1970 anymore. Times have changed. You’re just upset because you got left behind in the Dark Ages.
Well I think that’s unfair, Francine. And prejudiced.
ReplyDeleteI think I should be allowed to compete.
***Hi!,I would like to participate but I do not want to disappoint my new relationship Lucky Cat!***
ReplyDelete***I think she would be so disappointed in me!***
***If I did a pageant!***
***she doesn’t like pageants and won’t do them and if I do them I am afraid she won’t like me anymore***
***Kokeshi Dolls I can look after the cow??? I am a good sitter believe it or not!!!!***
Did you wonder why there were so many Chip Munks in Atlanta?
ReplyDeleteThe walnuts in that salad at Spring.
What we have here is a perfect example of the Male Gaze. Its corrosive force. The Red Bird Twins haven’t even been in the Box for more than a week and already people like Pork Chop are using their Male Privilege to objectify them and render them into Sex Objects. Well we say NO MORE. They are NOT sex objects, they are decorative objects (buttons).
ReplyDeleteWhat we have here is the Beauty Pageant as a living symbol of Male Oppression. We are not mere Sex Objects and we are not just EYE CANDY for male viewing pleasure, Pork Chop!
Tell you what, Chica. You go ahead and join the pageant, and I’ll be in the front row, cheering you on. Deal?
ReplyDelete***I'm in!!!!***
ReplyDeletewe all must support cloten’s cousin phil and push for a more inclusive pageant
ReplyDeletesome of you may not know but i am gay
i know what it is like to be other/othered
cloten’s cousin phil needs to be supported by the community during the terrible pain of gender dysphoria
it is real
Sabermetric Owl
ReplyDeleteMelinda, are you applying your proprietary FiveThirtyPlayt algorithms to the assessment of the pageant contestants? If so, how are you calibrating the formulae to account for subjective elements such as beauty, talent, etc.? Will you employ linear weights to smooth the computation process and ensure statistical fairness?
It is important to have a Guard Dog. I do feel safer now that we have Wilson looking after us. I would still prefer a Star Wars Missile Defense System but Wilson is the next best thing.
ReplyDeleteHowever I believe a Pageant is very unsafe and I am sure Wilson will do Wilson’s duty and chase the Pageant away and maybe destroy it.
OH I’m so insulting, I know. That must really hurt. Pardon me for calling women beautiful.
ReplyDeleteCorrection -- *some* women.
Thank you Pork Chop for proving my point!
ReplyDeleteI call on my friend and teammate and community leader The White Girl to formally denounce these proceedings and take a powerful stand on pageants which are akin to the Hate Speech of events!!
I don’t have gender dysphoria, dude. I just want to be in the pageant. Why can’t a boy be in the pageant? That is sex discrimination and that is wrong.
ReplyDeleteUmmm….
ReplyDeleteCome on S.O. it is a beauty pageant not a nuclear reactor. No need to stick an algerithim (sp.) in everything. Relax for once in your life. Linear weights jeez.
ReplyDeleteIsnt it comical how they act like the pagent is only girls when we know better. Who these days can even tell a boy from a girl anymore. Who can tell if the people in the box who say they are girls are girls – have you personally inspected their vag. And what about hermafridites and people with no balls. Also those with extra cromosomes. Some people are born this way and there’s nothing they can do about it and you want to shut them out of the pagent over something they cannot control. Well that is cruel and unusual and it violates the equal rights act and our civil rights Lindy and Francine enjoy JALE
ReplyDelete???????
ReplyDeleteUm… yeah, I wanted to talk to you about this, Muffy. But since we’re in a public forum, I might as well say it here. I’ve wrestled with this a bit, because I’m not completely sure I want to, but there’s a big part of me that wants to sign up for the pageant.
ReplyDeleteI got into the rough and tumble world of politics to show that a White Girl could do anything. I think we’ve proven our point and seen some change we can all believe in! For instance, in many of the new games, at last there are options for those of us who enjoy being White. As discrimination against Whites continues to wane, I believe we will soon see the day when everyone can be White.
I know some say this is a coincidence, but I don’t think it is. I believe we have struck a meaningful blow for all White People everywhere – or, as I like to call us, White Nation.
I know I owe my platform to the many White Power believers who have supported us in this struggle. I never want to take that support for granted or turn down an opportunity to address a crowd. So I would like to demonstrate my talent in Lindy’s pageant, advance to the next round, and deliver the best White Nationalist speech a White Girl can make.
Beyond that, I want to show the world that a White Girl can win a beauty pageant – that it is no disadvantage anymore to be a White Girl. Muffy (and everyone else), I know you have reasonable objections to beauty pageants, but I ask you as a friend, activist, and fellow believer in equality to support me in this effort.
ha ha politicians
ReplyDeletewhat a bunch of clowns.
And I suppose you’d rather be a cynic and a name-caller, and never do anything positive in the community?
ReplyDeletedarn right, woman!
ReplyDeletethis so-called "political correctness" has gotten out of hand. now because some do gooders complained about equality we have to watch phil's gnarly ass prancing around in a swimsuit. yuck. thanks for ruining the pageant phil! we want to see sex princess not you dummy.
ReplyDeleteMust you constantly embarrass me??
ReplyDeleteNo boys are allowed in the Pageant. Period. Some things are for girls and some things are for boys. Beauty pageants are for girls and that is that.
ReplyDeleteIt is very easy to tell the difference between a boy and a girl. Everyone ought to be able to do it.
If for some reason you are having trouble, I will set you straight.
hey, speaking of gender trouble: how about when young thug says “had to wear the dress ‘cuz i had a stick”? i think about that all the time. that sums it up in nine tight syllables, doesn’t it? it just works on so many levels and makes all of those other statements of gender ambiguity in pop songs feel shallow and simple-minded by comparison. like jenny hval and ezra furman should just hang it up and go home.
ReplyDeleteWith Cloten and Lisa gone, this tournament is crawling with bugs! Ewww!
ReplyDeleteThe Moths, the Ladybug, the Bee, the Bookworm, Mariposa – it’s like gross larvae and twitching antennas all over the place! I can’t even look, it is too disgusting. Bugs everywhere!
Somebody needs to BLAST the field with RAID!!!
Well, I intend to take this to the Supreme Court. They are a liberal court and they believe in equal opportunity and I think they will see it my way, not yours, Francine.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for you anonymous haters, I think you will change your tune when I strut my stuff in the Pageant!
eeeewwwwww
ReplyDeleteeeeeewwwww!!!
ReplyDeleteBLEAGH, Young Thug sux!! Smoke with the slat, we could meet in the kitchen, what the heck does that mean? He just uses curse words and funny voices to make you forget about how DUMB the things he is saying are. Drugs blah blah blah anal sex blah blah blah. Bor-ring!
ReplyDeleteI prefer more sophisticated music such as Alicia Keys.
I'm with Muffin. I can't believe you're all thinking about a beauty pageant during the tournament. The games of Trajan have been so great! How about Pancho and Lefty and that amazing first quarter? That's what we should be talking about, not who looks like what in a bathing suit.
ReplyDeleteThat's why me and Chloe are totally ignoring this silly pageant. We've got games to win. If you're hung up on beauty prizes, that's good for you, I guess. But we'll be out on the field, doing what we're here to do -- playing, and winning, and shooting for the championship. Catch you where the real action is!
Um, Geno....?
ReplyDeleteUm... you didn't happen to read the post above, did you?
(waiting for it)
ReplyDelete...Chloe?
ReplyDeleteI do try never to be baited into a response to a comment on a weblog, but I must say: that anonymous poster who suggested turning Raid on us did get under my exoskeleton.
ReplyDeleteInsects are noble creatures. We account for much of the biomass on this planet. Why, there are more than 350,000 different kinds of beetles! Without insects, the entire biosphere would teeter and fall. We are humble, but we are dedicated, persistent, and brave.
Insects have many qualities that all beasts should respect, and, perhaps, emulate. The next time you see an insect, consider befriending it. It wishes you no ill. Why would you wish it ill?
Dismayed at the pointless animosity,
The Insect Trust
much like shakes and bacon soda insects are an excellent source of protein. in the future when climate changes and we are fresh out of food we will all eat insects as a main course. certain bugs that are good to eat are chapulines, locusts, and lightning bugs. grasshoppers are also juicy and meaty and explode with bug flavor. a cockroach crumble can add zip and zest to a dish. grubs in clusters impart a mushy smoothness to the sauce. then there is the tarantula sandwich. mexican restaurants serve crickets and ants on purpose. at other restaurants they just crawl into the food and die. at mexican establishments it is less inadvertent. it is best if the chef has control over the number of insects that are mixed in with the entree. that way the ingredients are well balanced.
ReplyDeleteman, i am a bug myself, and even i'm grossed out.
ReplyDeleteYes, Geno, I'm in the Miss Box Pageant. I was the first person to sign up.
ReplyDeleteSorry to let you down, I guess.
i think you're just missing the harmonic and rhythmic complexity of what young thug does. it's ok, lots of people do. they're turned off by the voice, or the abrasiveness of his delivery. but no matter how astringent he gets, he's always carrying so much tonality -- playing off of the drums, or the synths, or whatever. it's like he's another instrument in the mix -- one with unusally broad expressive capacity. and for a guy who, admittedly, gets off a lot of dumb lyrics, you'd be surprised how often he says something memorable. anyway, i think you shouldn't dismiss thugger so quickly. i guarantee you alicia keys appreciates what he does.
ReplyDeleteBut why? You're in third place! You're right behind us. It's a horse race now and we're coming down the stretch. We need to concentrate on our game as we near the finals. You don't have any time or energy to waste on a beauty pageant.
ReplyDeleteI just know you'll do the right thing for the tournament and drop out of this pageant. Won't you?
agreet strongleet with leftyt. well put. button have good taste.
ReplyDeleteSCOUNDREL
Geno, don't tell me what I have time and energy for.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever asked me about me, and not about the games, you'd know that I have some new songs that I want to debut. And you'd also know they're important to me.
I... I don't get it. I really don't. There's so much on the line! Please, reconsider.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I know where Gene Bunny is coming from. I wouldn't want a bunch of mashers like Pork Chop ogling *my* woman, either.
ReplyDeleteC'mon man -- you don't have a woman!!!
ReplyDeleteHa ha, no worries. Chances are I won't be paying much attention during Chloe's part. I mean, she's fine, I guess, but she's like a 7. At best. Not too exciting.
ReplyDeleteWhat?!?! You apologize to Chloe, right now! Or else!
ReplyDeleteOr else what? Are you threatening me, you big galoot? Fellow doesn't condone physical violence around here, don't you know.
ReplyDeletechloe, i just want you to know that i'm very interested in your new material. in particular, i'm interested in the way your chord voicings have evolved. i notices that they were more or less standard on your first few songs, but you've been using more broken and arpeggiated chords, and moving between them in ways that i found really novel and exciting. and i notice you've been using suspensions more frequently, which really adds to the tension i think you're trying to communicate. anyway, i wasn't going to pay much attention to the pageant, but now that i know you've got some fresh songs coming, i'll be sure to tune in.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lefty. Thanks for paying attention.
ReplyDeleteI'll be sure to send one out to you.
*sigh*
ReplyDeletetoday, gene bunny has learned what we all learn, sooner or later.
ReplyDeletehaving an ol' ball and chain?, it ain't easy.