october surprise!

False drugs!
Hey everyone this is Melinda (Lindy the pink bear as you know) with a BOMB SHELL that oughta "rock" the election tomorrow!  This is where you get them (bomb shells) incidentally not those other news sites that are lame.  Every election needs an October Surprise and me and Miss Moneypenny checked the calendar and guess what month it is peeps??? Hold on to your hats for THIS:

Five Thirty Playt has exculsivelty (sp.?) learned from a source that knew the White Girl on the "streets" that the White Girl was def. ON DRUGS.  Yes you heard it here -- the front runner for the office of the Commish has a secret drug past that she has kept secret from all of us!!!! According to Ball On The Street who rolls around and does the hard boiled Street Ball column for Ball News.  So it turns out that there might be some truth to Da Oysta's stupid attack ad that there are things about the White Girl we don't know and looks like those things include false drugs!

Here is the quote from B.O.T.S. who is incidentaly very handsome and maybe even more handsome than Figgy!

"Yeah, I knew that dame.  Back when.  We used to have a name for them -- street drifters, we called them, photographs that had been dropped, and wound up in the gutter with nowhere to go.  When I met the White Girl, she was scared, and frayed, and on drugs. Colors bleeding like a knifed hobo.  She was living rough and doing what she had to do. Now I hear the broad cleaned up her act, won a few games, got into politics.  But don't be fooled.  Streets don't fade away.  Time out there -- it marks you.  It stays with you.  Always."

So there you have it all stylized and film noir style. Cloak and dagger and all that jazz.  From somebody who ought to know because he was THERE out in the streets which sucked as you all prob. remember? Add that to Cat Head running away during the Town Hall (wtf?) and you have an anatomey of a campaign in disarray!  Lookit Ball On The Street, your pal Melinda (Lindy) can "turn a phrase" too!  Woo!  Go me!

It is too close to the election to build this bomb shell into our modeling so we are not gonna "fudge" a percentage.  But in your guts you know this revelation helps the incumbint (sp?)!  And maybe takes some of the heat off the current Commish for that Town Hall performance which blew frankly.  (Srsly what was that flip-flop about the Nazis?)  Well we'll see tomorrow who is standing when all the dust settles!  Get your around the clock coverage right here with us -- Melinda (Lindy) and Miss Moneypenny who are the real breakout stars of this dumb election won't you agree?

Comments

  1. whoaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!

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  2. Tanks For The MemoriesOctober 12, 2017 at 9:05 AM

    Whooooooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

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  3. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

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  4. I don't think we should Jump to any Conclusions. We don't know yet if this source is trustworthy. It would be a shame to participate in a Smear Campaign.

    Also I was eliminated yesterday and I am Blue.

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  5. cheer up, shelly, 7th place isn't so bad!

    though that walk up music has got to go. the silver spoons theme song? yuck!

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  6. Shelly, I verified Lindy's source.

    It's authentic. B.O.T.S. has pictures and everything.

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  7. whooooooooooooaaaaaaahhh!!!

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  8. loyal china report readerOctober 12, 2017 at 10:27 AM

    well if china says so you know it's true. china does responsible journalism ONLY.

    but china, what gives? you keep getting scooped by five thirty playt. i expect better of you!

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  9. No way -- the "breakout star" of this season has been ---

    DJ BARREL MONKEY!!!

    In more ways than one (tee hee Spring Chicken tee hee)

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  10. I know! I apologize to all my readers. I *do* keep getting scooped. I don't know why this keeps happening. It's like they've got an inside line. Or maybe I'm losing my edge.

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  11. Ha ha, Lindy misspelled "exclusively" again.

    At this point, I think she's just baiting Walker.

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  12. Extra extra I saw White Girl with a needle in her arm and a spoon up her nose and drinking a Fentanyl shake!

    I saw White Girl sell reefer to school kids!

    White Girl see you in JALE

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  13. Space Alien,

    I do not read this weblog any more. There is no commitment to editorial quality. It is nothing but typographical errors and grammatical mistakes.

    Also, I will not vote for a drug addicted candidate.

    Sincerely,
    Walker Owl

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  14. I am a supporter of The Oyster and will be voting accordingly tomorrow. But I must speak out on behalf of the White Girl, who I have known, and played against, ever since she has joined us in the box. Never in my recollection has the White Girl seemed intoxicated or otherwise impaired. She has always answered the bell and acted to the best of her ability. It is unfortunate that her name is a synonym for false drugs but I believe that this is just a coincidence.

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  15. cold woman remember what SCOUNDREL always sayt -- whatever your nane is, that's what you are!

    also how about that Alzheimersy Cat Head running like hell during the town hall. what's that smoke?, it is the White Girl campaign is crashing and burning!! hahahahahah

    oyster #1!

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  16. fellow save us!

    throw your hat in the ring -- it's not too late!!

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  17. I feel very betrayed. The Oyster promised a Star Wars Missile Defense System. But at the Town Hall The Oyster repudiated the Missile Defense system before praising it again. I now believe the Commissioner is just telling us what we all want to hear which is that we will be getting a Star Wars Missile Defense System to defend us. I will not vote for a Commissioner who plays games with our safety.

    The new reports that the White Girl is behind the flood of false drugs flooding into the box makes me very scared and is exactly the thing we need a Missile Defense System to prevent. If we had a Star Wars Missile Defense System we could deter the White Girl or drop a bomb on her before it gets out of control. In conclusion I now feel v. unsafe. Shame on you Oyster.

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  18. well well beulah now the scales have fallen from your eyes. you have taken the red pill how does it feel to be woke. now you realize that the politicians just say whatever will keep them in power and never intend on improving anything. you are no longer SHEEPLE like some people (koff koff sally mander) around here. when even baby bird realizes that fellow represents the DEEP STATE. meanwhile the so called opposition the white girl is too high on drugs to realize what is going on. tomorrow you have one choice and that is jill stine. use your head and WAKE UP!!!

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  19. Ха-ха наш мастерский план продолжает сеять раздор и путаницу в коробке! Наши агенты находятся на позиции от имени устрицы: кандидата хаоса.

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  20. Everybody,

    I believe that an explanation is in order.

    It is true that when I was out in the street I was scared. I am made of paper, which is not as sturdy as the rubber or plastic that some of you are made of. But though you may be made of tougher stuff on the outside, I believe that I am made of tough stuff on the inside. And even though I was taken by the wind, I was always confident that I would find a community that would welcome me.

    But once a big gust picked me up and landed me on top of a discarded aspirin. That is when I met Ball On The Street. At that point I was at my lowest. It was cold and I was in the gutter. I wish Ball On The Street would see me and talk to me now. I think he would find me a changed photograph. And I ask all of you: now that you are here in the box, do you ever think of the time you were lost on the street? Before Baby Bird rescued you? What did you do to get by?

    I did not emphasize this part of my life during the campaign -- not because I don't think it's important, but because I wanted to focus on the future and the happy times we've all had together. I ran for Commissioner because I wanted to show that a White Girl could do anything. No matter what our background is, or what we've been through, we can still be more than what we were when we were at our worst. That is what this campaign has always been about.

    Since I've come to the community, I have never been on drugs. Once there was an Advil Cold & Sinus in the Box but I made sure to lie down on the opposite corner. That's because it reminded me of the bad times, and I don't think it's helpful to dwell on any of that. If you elect me tomorrow, I promise you sober, attentive leadership -- not because I scorn those who have drug problems (I promise to help you if you do) but because all of you have helped me to be the best me I can be. I won't forget that, win or lose.

    Your friend,
    The White Girl

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  21. that was beautiful

    you have my vote

    i am gay so i know what it is to struggle

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  22. Cloten's Cousin PhilOctober 12, 2017 at 11:45 AM

    Funny. I'm gay but I've never struggled.

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  23. When are we opening The Wither? That looks fun.

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  24. Pretty words. Pretty words get the votes of sentimental fools though. Read between the lines and see what the White Girl is saying. She is admitting that she was On Drugs. Once an addict, always an addict -- even AA says so. Combine that with the erratic behavior of Cat Head and we have reason to believe that she is still dealing.

    No thanks!

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  25. I developed a drug problem when the stress of Playt got to me

    I am not less of a Brass Pig for it

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  26. C'mon Scary Bear, gimme a break. She didn't say she was on drugs, she said she was on *top* of drugs. That's different. Also aspirin isn't even false drugs. It is advertised on TV.

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  27. Drugs are drugs Thompson. Also out on the street it gets wet and paper is pourous. If it was moist the drugs might have seeped into the White Girl. She may have drugs in her system for good!

    You have never been out on the street Thompson so you don't know what it is like. Also you are a shrinky dink so at one point you def. got baked. Therefore you are no one to talk.

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  28. Gee, I guess that makes sense.

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  29. the pontificating turtleOctober 12, 2017 at 12:04 PM

    there are two different kinds of drugs in america. one pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small. if the white girl took the pill that makes her larger her original size was smaller. if she took the other pill it is vice versa. also the broken monkey mentioned the red pill which is a different kind of pill that turns you into a message board user. most people who have taken the red pill are now posting to message boards about pizzagate. without these people we would know nothing about pizzagate and might accidentally wander into comet ping pong or roberta's and order a pizza and be surprised when we were served an underage girl. thanks to these people we are not surprised. as you can see some drugs are helpful.

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  30. Gosh, I could really use some sanity around here. Where's Geno today?

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  31. I realize that Fellow is disinclined to serve but Fellow is also public spirited. If we all got together and created a groundswell for Fellow tomorrow, I bet Fellow would accept the judgment of the citizens and serve a term at least. I'm beginning to think this is the wisest course and I am a Judge so I ought to know.

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  32. I tell you I am innocent of child molestation.

    Pontificating Turtle, I hope you have a good attorney.

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  33. give it up it is time for otter cupOctober 12, 2017 at 1:04 PM

    leave fellow alone. fellow has other responsibilities to the otters.

    face it -- you're stuck with the candidates you've got. pick your poison.

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  34. I'm right here, Chloe, but I admit I'm kinda bummed out today. To be in first place a few games ago!, and now to get passed by the Dream Team has been hard to handle. We had it right there in our paws and I gotta admit I could already taste that Reeses Peanut Butter Cup. And now we're facing an elimination game against the Insect Trust, and you know how tough they are. I dunno, I'm sure as a fan of the game I'll look back on what the Dream Team just did and appreciate it, but to be in the middle of it and on the losing end, that's been kind of depressing. I'll snap out of it soon.

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  35. ooooo pontificating turtle is getting sooooooo sued. i guess it was always a matter of time.

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  36. Compliments to the Political Spectrum for a really nice ballot box! Could you guys make me a tiara?

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  37. Hey Geno,

    I just wanted to say that I think you and Virginia Bluebell are doing great and should be really proud. You're a student of the game, so you know that me and the Space Alien struggled for a long time before we became the champs. We were known as the team that couldn't win the big one. You're already way ahead of our pace. Even if you don't get another this time around, ten wins in your second tournament is amazing. You're great players and you'll get to the winners circle soon enough.

    Also the Insect Trust might be a tough out but you've already shown you can beat them. You can beat anybody. Look at it this way: you've got at worst a 75% chance of making the Final Four. When you get there, I expect you to make me and the Space Alien sweat. You already have!

    With admiration,
    Your friend & competitor,
    Cloten

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  38. Hey thanks, that means a lot coming from you. I didn't mean to be disrespectful. It's just been a great ride -- the ride of my life -- and I don't want it to end.

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  39. You're never disrespectful, Geno. Hey, once this is over, what do you say we get together and split a pizza? You can bring Chloe.

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  40. That sounds great!... but... why would I bring Chloe? Not that I wouldn't want to, in theory, I just...

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  41. go for it, geno!!!

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  42. sooooo... has anybody around here bothered putting any of those messages from the Russians into Google Translate? asking for a friend.

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